Mommy Bag Evolution: From Hand Bags to Diaper Bags and Back.
Springtime is almost here and this year I have decided to clean out some stuff in the cellar. And in one box, I found some old lady’s bags, bags that somehow evolved parallel to the development of my twin boys.
Pre-Mom Bags
Several bags from pre-mommy days were still there. Cute hand bags just big enough to hold a purse and a hair brush and can be tucked snugly under the arm. There is this teeny Mandarina Duck handbag you can flip fully open with just a pull on the zip and no unsightly pockets whatsoever. I might still be able to use it again except that (true to its age), it doesn’t have a little pocket compartment for a cell phone. Not in those days.
Baby Diaper Bags
It’s not in the box anymore but I remember my first and only diaper bag. It was an Avent black rucksack and at first I found it bulky and hideous. But that little bag soon became my best friend with its diaper changing mat, special compartments for wipes and creams, zillions of pockets that helped me separate the soiled clothes from the baby spoons and baby bottles. Best of all were two lined side pockets that kept the bottles warm for a long time. That rucksack was my constant companion as I went around with my twin babies, including a trip from Europe to Asia and back. Alas, towards the beginning of my boys’ second year, the trusty rucksack gave in to constant wear and tear and was banished into the rubbish bin.
Rucksacks For Moms With Toddlers
After my Avent experience, I realized that rucksacks were the only way to go. I could stuff as much as I could in a pack and still be able to carry it without dislocating my shoulders. Besides, I always had two arms free to grab running toddlers or push a double-buggy stroller. I upgraded to a much larger rucksack, the normal type, not mommy-type ones. Normal diaper bags would have been too small anyway to accommodate double the amount of diapers, change of clothes, baby bottles plus solid food bottles. Over the years, I went through a series of rucksacks, the more pockets and compartments, the better. The two which survived the 2-to-5 year olds were still in the box, with food stains and scribbles on them. Out with them and into the rubbish.
Shoulder Bags for Mom With Preschoolers
I can’t remember when I decided to abandon rucksacks and opted for shoulder bags. Maybe it was right after my two were potty trained or maybe later when I didn’t have to bring two sets of change of clothes all the time. Anyway, there was rather this rather enormous Esprit imitation leather bucket bag which was a present from an aunt. Today it looked so ugly to me but a couple of years back it was the greatest, because of its size and its long sturdy shoulder straps. Preschoolers would pull on mommy’s hand, not to mention handbag, and a long strap is handy to put over the head so the strap goes diagonally from the left shoulder across the chest all the way down to the right hip. It’s not exactly the most elegant way of carrying a bag but it still leaves my hands free and no one can snatch the bag away while I get distracted by active 5-year olds.
My Current Mommy Bag
Last Christmas, I finally treated myself to a real lady-like handbag. It was a DKNY from an outlet shop and I was really so proud of it. It was small and compact and light and fits snugly under my arm. My husband raised his eyebrows when he saw it. Well, since my kids now walk to school and back all by themselves, I can now go out of the house without touting all the kiddie paraphernalia, except perhaps the Kleenex. I don’t need a mommy-sized bag anymore. Unfortunately, I realized I don’t know how to carry a handbag anymore. The bag kept slipping down my arm. So I exchanged the little beauty for a one of similar size but with long straps. So I can put it over my shoulders. I need my hands free – just in case.
From small hand bags to diaper bags to mommy rucksacks, and now I am back to little bags again. It feels like going full circle (well, sort of). It goes to show that time doesn’t stand still, that things do get better as the kids grow. But once a mom, always a mom. Just look at how I carry my shoulder bag.
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Mommy Bag Evolution: From Hand Bags to Diaper Bags and Back.
Parenting Habits Are Hard To Break
I picked up quite a few habits after I had my baby. None of them were necessarily bad, but they have really stuck with me despite the fact that my little ones don’t even qualify as babies anymore. At least the habits I can’t seem to shed are more comical than anything else, and they remind me of the days when I would constantly have a baby on my hip.
Swaying back and forth. New moms, heed my warning: Your kids will be old enough to start reading and you will still sway back and forth when you are standing in one spot. It’s even worse if you have anything in your arms that somewhat resembles the feeling of holding a baby, like a basketball or a bag of groceries. The best part is that people will never tell you that you are swaying, so you will have to realize it yourself and also wonder just how long you have been swaying while lovingly cradling the sack of potatoes.
Constant monologue. We’re told to talk to our newborns even though they can’t talk back, and for some moms (like me) that results in a constant monologue. “Mommy is going to brush her hair. Mommy’s hair is brown! Does Mommy’s baby like the brush?” You get the picture. I would like to claim that I no longer do this, but this is another habit that I haven’t been able to shed yet. The other day I was trying to find the mental health clinic at the hospital because one of the psychologists was going to review an essay I wrote for my clinical counseling class. I couldn’t find the clinic -and in my defense, it was relatively hidden- so there I was, wandering around the hospital mumbling to myself that I couldn’t find the mental health clinic. It’s no wonder people just moved out of my way instead of helping me.
Rocking shopping carts. Whenever I stop to look at something on a grocery store shelf, I tend to let at least one hand linger on the handle of the shopping cart and before I know it I’m rocking the cart back and forth. This is a habit I picked up when I would have a baby in the shopping cart, but apparently now I have moved on to trying to comfort cartons of milk.
I don’t really mind these habits of mine so much because they remind me of a time when my little ones were tiny and my whole life changed to suit their needs. Now if I can only learn to sway, rock, and mumble to myself like a lunatic out of public eye, I’ll be styling.
Read more:
Parenting Habits Are Hard To Break
3 Things New Moms Should Ignore
Becoming a new mom is thrilling and incredibly rewarding, but it can be a weird transition too, especially if you go from working full-time outside the home to suddenly staying home with a baby all day long. My abrupt transition was from full-time mortgage loan officer to confused, bleary-eyed, nightgown-stained, sleep deprived stay-at-home mother of a newborn. It’s hard enough to make a huge life change without being assaulted by impossible standards for new moms, but if you’re anything like me then you will undoubtedly run into plenty of instances that make you feel inadequate as a new parent. Let me reveal to you which ones I think should be ignored.
TV Moms
Even the TV moms portrayed as overwhelmed and exhausted still manage to make their portrayal in skinny jeans and with makeup on. Their houses still look great, and for some bizarre reason the babies actually sleep long enough to not interrupt the TV mom getting into a comical fight with the TV dad. You might be looking for another new mom to emulate, but just remember that TV moms are just like other women on TV: Unrealistic.
Your Perfect Friend
I have a friend who went right from having her first baby to teaching university classes online while also juggling some freelance work. She never appears overwhelmed, always seems calm around the baby, and I have yet to see her with any form of spit-up on her clothes whatsoever. She is like the yin to my yang, because when I had a newborn baby I was a sleep-deprived, spit-upon, anxious mess. Chances are you have a friend like this too, who makes being a new parent seem effortless and makes you feel slightly (or fully) inadequate, or you have at least spied one of these women jogging along with a running stroller while brokering huge deals on her cell phone or painting the outside of her home with a newborn nestled in a front sling or whatever else Supermoms do.
Just keep in mind that what you see may not be what happens consistently. You never really know which moms are calm because they’re in a medicated haze or which moms go home and collapse into a heap of tears as a result of exhaustion from trying to portray a perfect image to everyone. You should also keep in mind that people react to stress differently, so while I become an anxious mess when overwhelmed, my friend probably reacts in a calmer way because we’re just wired differently.
Either that, or she’s going home every day and taking her anxiety out on a punching bag or something.
Unrealistic Advice
As moms get a little more, shall we say, seasoned in their parenting, we start to forget about how difficult the newborn phase can be. I remember being tired and hormonal, but the acute feelings of exhaustion and confusion have pretty much left me. For this reason, I might make comments that aren’t altogether true, albeit unintentionally. So when a seasoned mom says anything like “I don’t remember little Bobby having any problems sleeping as a newborn,” or “Your baby must have colic because no baby cries that much,” or “Breastfeeding was a breeze!” then just file these comments in your mind under “Ridiculous Delusions” and ignore them.
Then look forward to the day when you too shall forget about how tough things can be for new moms.